6.27.2013

Day 13: Something You Miss


So.

Growing up, I had a slight overbite and a few of my bottom teeth were a bit crowded, but nothing to call the fire department about.




My freshman year in high school it was decided that I should have braces. While my prognosis was nothing like Lisa Simpson's, the orthodontist recommended a palate expander. Allow me to explain what that is:


They stick a metal plate in the roof of your mouth (which is great for trapping bread, by the way, and you need a stick somewhere between  the size of a toothpick and a kitchen utensil to get it out), which is held aloft by thick, metal wires attached to cuffs around select teeth and arched across your mouth. Then a loving parent or trusted person will put you in a straight jacket, restrain your head, place a small "key" in the center of the metal plate and turn it a click or two, which forces the teeth apart with tremendous throbbing pressure. This also makes your teeth loose, which in turn makes it hard to process any food, let alone suck anything down, without reminding you that you are a victim of medieval torture. Also when you  can move past gingerly gumming food and finally bite something, it's time to turn that key again.


I'm not even going to try and illustrate that, so let a picture of Hitler suffice.



The best day of being in high school with braces was when the kid I had a swoony schoolgirl crush on came over to talk to me. It also happened to be immediately after I got back from the orthodontist appointment with a mouth full of new metal.

"Did you get braces?"



People with normal teeth can smile from start to finish. People 30 minutes into having braces on their teeth can smile, but then get stuck half way at the part where your lips have to close back down your face again.

"Yes." Blush.
0%....50%...

...50%....


...51%


FINISH!





That was awesome.

In the end, braces changed my life and affected my self-esteem more than I ever imagined they would:


Speaking


Relaxing


Sleeping





I miss my old mouth.

3 comments:

Brooke Jackson said...

I'm just about to start work for the day but first I paused to check Facebook. Saw this, read it. Laughed outloud (sympathetically, of course). Thanks for getting my day off to a good start.

By the by, your mouth is beautiful.

Paige said...

Oh Brooke, I'm so glad I made you smile :D

Karin said...

I'm so sorry